Going the Distance
While we are on the subject, the horrific events this week at the Boston Marathon reminded me of another important, but tough subject.
No matter your age, please make sure to talk to your parents about their plans and wants for later in life (or talk to your children if you are older). My mom was really good about that, so we were able to follow a plan that she was a part of creating. We knew what she envisioned for herself, so it made going down that path just a little bit easier. Before her dementia set in, she shared information about her finances and accounts, as well as sentimental items she wanted to make sure were taken care of, so that we would be able to take over that role for her when needed. You don't have to get into all the juicy details, but know where you can find that information, what's out there as far as assets and debts, and even where to find account numbers and such, if something were to happen to your parent or you. For example:
- social security number - very important!
- income - social security, job, investments, pensions, etc.
- bank accounts and debit card
- credit cards
- automatic withdrawals or payments set up via bank accounts or credit cards
- mortgage and home equity lines
- car payments
- school loans
- other loans
- retirement funds - savings accounts, CDs, IRAs, 401ks, annuities, stocks, etc.
- investments
- insurance - home, life, medical, long-term care, etc.
- copy of a recent credit report
- military benefits
It may be a little uncomfortable having that conversation, but there is nothing harder than trying to make those decisions for them if the time comes! Not every detail or circumstance can be planned for, and the decisions often become more emotional than practical even with a plan, but having as much information as you can will smooth the process for everyone.
Make sure it includes a medical and end-of-life plan, such as whether you want to be an organ donor, follow a DNR plan, or prefer certain types of care (in home or in a facility). Include whether you want to be buried or cremated (and where), and any other wishes for your funeral or memorial services. I know, it's a bit creepy to think about, but it's important. That way you or your children can do follow your wishes, to the best of their ability.
Lastly, consider long-term care insurance. It's something most people have never heard of, and it's reasonably priced. You don't need to get it early in life (I think my financial advisor recommended around 50), but it is essential if you need certain types of medical care late in life...adult day care, independent or assisted living, in-home nursing care, and others. Alzheimer's and other dementias, for example, are not covered by regular insurance if you need to live in a facility. That is why mom had to live in an apartment for longer than we would have liked, and then use her retirement to pay for assisted living. You wouldn't believe how astronomically expensive it is to live in an assisted living facility, even a so-so one, and no retirement savings could come close to covering it.
I highly recommend seeing a senior care advisor to help you jump through all the hoops. They cost a little money, but are worth it. They can answer questions immediately that we spent hours and days of research on to no avail. We found an excellent one in Indiana who helped guide us with mom's care, finances, and benefits. He knew those Medicare and Medicaid laws inside out! Don't forget that organizations like the AARP and the Alzheimer's Association have excellent websites, and a quick phone call or stop in to the office can get you lots of advice for free, too.
If you have any questions about what I have written, feel free to ask. I didn't go into the specifics of most of this. I don't know all the answers, but Molly and I are figuring them out. :)
