A Rite of Passage

We definitely live in the South.

Have any of you ever attended Cotillion or a debutante ball? I was dragged to one year of Cotillion as a middle schooler. Although I remember it being awkward and annoying at the time, I admit that what I learned about manners, etiquette, and dancing has more than made up for having to dance the cha-cha with a sweaty military school cadet or sip coca-cola with an obnoxious pre-teen. It's amazing how those little rules and skills emerge throughout the years. It has really given me the social confidence to participate in just about anything thrown my way.

As a result, I have "forced" Anson to participate in several manners or etiquette classes over the years. (Remember Manners Camp?) Although he whines every time he has to go, when I pick him up, he is giggling and bright-eyed. Last night was no different. It was the final part of a year-long program...the Grand Ball.

Boys brought their mothers as dates, and girls their fathers (but we were relegated to the outskirts while the kids danced with each other). Boys wore tuxedos; girls wore long white dresses and gloves. No doubt, it was old-fashioned and somewhat archaic (certainly parts were completely useless), but as a parent, it was pure entertainment. There is nothing like seeing a room full of fifth graders looking dapper and elegant, escorting their partners, handing the girls roses, filling out dance cards, and awkwardly asking someone to dance. It was so so freaking adorable!

We started the evening at our friend's house, getting ready.

Here is Anson with two friends, just before they went in to start the ball.


They started with some sort of complicated march that started in intersecting lines, snaked through like a braid, and ended in a large circle. Then dancing commenced as they danced in place with partners and moved together in a circle. I honestly couldn't believe these laid-back, video-game playing, neon green sneaker wearing kids could do this. The parents were like paparazzi...told to stay behind a line of chairs, pushing and shoving each other out of the way to try to get the perfect shot of their little gentleman or lady waltzing across the dance floor. (I only had my iPhone so my pictures are less than perfect.)

Anson did what most of the boys did when told it was time to choose a partner. Stand shell-shocked and then lurch quietly to the edge of the group, hoping for a miracle. Over the course of the night, he realized he had to step up if he didn't want to get partnered with a stranger or someone a foot taller than him (and as a general rule, the girls were WAY taller than the boys). I mean, come on, who could resist this cute face?

One of the young lady's fathers said to me, "If any boy out there thinks he is leading anyone, in a dance or otherwise, he is mistaken." Those girls were on it! They totally led the boys when dancing, and went right up to them at "asking" time, breathing down their necks and making eye contact, waiting to be asked to dance. Anson once told me that he wasn't sure what was worse: boys being expected to do all the asking--how nervewracking!!!--or being a girl and hoping the right person would ask you or having to nicely turn down someone you weren't interested in. (The good news was, this was a manners class, and any young lady they asked to dance would have to say yes.)

First we can see Anson (on the right, barely moving) and one of his earlier partners. They look like they are having SO MUCH FUN.

Did you watch that? Was the volume on? I know, I know, what's with the music? I admit that was one of the best things about last night, seeing the kids dancing traditional steps to the latest pop and hip hop. You could see most of them mouthing the words, and the occasional errant fist pump. Made me smile!

Another awkward move with a new partner.

Soon, he figured out the ropes, honed in on the girls he goes to school with, and started having fun.

The evening was long and included refreshments (vanilla cake, potato chips, and lemonade, apparently the highlight of the night), a dance with your parent, kids and parents doing the electric slide, and more escorting, waltzing, foxtrotting, and so forth.

Here is Anson signing a lovely lady's dance card.

During the Final Promenade (similar to the one at the beginning), Anson pairs up with one of his school friends. Don't you love how they can't look each other in the eye, and Anson's hand that is supposed to be on his dance partner's back just hangs loose in mid-air?

Anson's final dance card....

Whew, it's over! Let's celebrate!